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Passion projects can be a coping mechanism, a healing journey, a medium that allows one to find themselves again after a life changing incident or a loss of an identity for one reason or the other. For me, the driving force behind my learning 

 (a type of cross stitch) was the former – a healing journey I am still on to find peace and happiness again in whatever form that may take on in this new reality my family and I are living.

Although it is a healing journey, my passion for learning tatreez is also intertwined with my heritage and identity as a Palestinian woman and the urgency to preserve it. It is also married to an urge to honor my loved ones legacies that have departed this world and are with their Lord.

Tatreez is the Palestinian cross stitch, a form of embroidery, that is a centuries old artform. It is the trademark of the Palestinian woman. It embellishes our thobe, the traditional Palestinian costume and dress. It is our form of self expression when our voice is silenced by our colonizer, and we are suffocated by the hardships of this life.

In tatreez, there are countless motifs, designs, that were once created by Palestinian women inspired by their surroundings in nature and symbols portraying their beliefs. The alignment of each motif and the colors used narrate the stories of the embroiderer. There is depth and meaning intertwined with the intricate beauty of each shape and hue. Learning tatreez and teaching it to my family and others has been my personal journey in honoring the legacy of my ancestors, especially my loved ones who passed last year, and bridging a connection to my roots as a third-generation Palestinian living in the diaspora.

My Personal Palestinian Connection to Tatreez

My personal story with tatreez started after the passing of my mother-in-law and maternal grandfather last fall, may Allah (S) grant them the highest levels of 

(paradise) and have mercy on their souls, 

. My mother-in-law, who was a talented seamstress and embroiderer, loved to keep her hands busy with thread and fabric when she had the time, which was rare. But, she made sure to always squeeze in a project.

Her dream was to teach my daughter, her granddaughter, how to sew and do tatreez. After her passing I took it upon myself to learn this art form in order to teach my daughter the skill that her grandmother didn’t get the chance to pass on to her. I was tasked with cleaning out my mother-in-law’s sewing room and found a plethora of materials that were ready to be put to use. Her kind and generous spirit still lives on and continues to give, 

I grew up listening to my maternal grandfather, my Sido, telling my sisters and I the stories of his childhood in our village in Palestine, Sebastia, Nablus. He would describe it in a way that made us feel like we were there, showing us his maps and collection of photographs. He spoke to us about what the village life was like and the incidents that led him to start a family outside of his homeland. It was as though he was documenting his existence, his form of resistance to the occupation that forced him to flee his beloved home.

Sido was also a talented tailor and handyman. There was never a time that he did not have a clever fix to a problem around the house. He hemmed my clothes during my visits overseas. He was a man of many talents, and his love for Palestine has inspired my siblings and my mom to continue digging into our family history and learn more about our village and city.

Although my paternal grandmother passed away two years ago, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t long for our phone calls, her funny stories and her contagious laugh. My connection with her through tatreez is a little bit different than my mother-in-law and grandfather. My grandmother, Teta, left behind a thobe during one of her visits. I preserved the tatreez, and redesigned the thobe using new fabrics to reimagine her dress. This was (and still is) a customary practice in order to make use of the valuable embroidery and replace the tethered fabric with new and modern textiles.

Through my tatreez learning journey, I have found a source of calm and peace. I have found a source of constant 

and connection to my loved ones. My tatreez time is a form of self care that I cherish and take pride in. It is a labor of love, patience, acceptance of Allah’s (S) will and a reminder that this life is so fragile and temporary, but the legacy and beautiful memory you leave behind is lasting.

Creating Tatreez for Charity As a Resistance to Oppression

During the recent political upheaval and revolution that happened in Palestine this summer, 

, a project where I demonstrate how to do tatreez, was born. From the comfort of my own home, I felt helpless and useless watching my people continue to get oppressed, brutalized and murdered. I wanted to do something in my own capacity that would make a difference, even if it was small, in the lives of those at the forefront of our fight for freedom.

I began offering monthly Tatreez for Charity virtual classes where I demonstrate how to embroider a traditional motif while also discussing my background and healing journey through tatreez. I also educate participants on the history of tatreez, its forms and other topics that come up during our conversations while stitching. Proceeds of the classes are donated to various trusted charities within (and outside of) Palestine. 

I wanted to connect with my people in a way that will cause a ripple effect in generations to come. I wanted to plant a seed in others in order to continue educating on the situation in Palestine as well as preserving a sacred artform and teaching it to others. Tatreez is very much a communal art form: Women would gather for tea and teach each other various strategies and motifs. Mothers taught daughters, grandmothers taught granddaughters, aunts taught nieces, and neighbors shared with each other. We are all students of tatreez.

The only way Palestine will never be forgotten and Palestinians will continue to exist is if we pass down our traditions and history to our children and future generations. Our existence is our resistance. As a mother, I now see the urgency my parents and grandparents had to instill a love for Palestine in me and my sibling. In recent months, this passion to connect with my heritage has also become a passion to keep my loved one’s legacy alive, an opportunity to keep them company through a du’a or a donation in their name through Tatreez for Charity.

Tatreez is an opportunity to stay connected with them until we meet again, in the best of places. It’s an opportunity to heal and invite happiness and closure in my life in order to continue to carry on for myself and my family.

Do you have a passion project that helps you stay connected to your heritage? Share with us in the comments below!

Learning Tatreez and Honoring Palestine – a Journey of Healing, Preservation & Resistance

I am a strong advocate for celebrating religious milestones! Just like with our dunya, (worldly) milestones and achievements, such as graduations, work-related recognition, baby showers, birthdays and so on, our deen (religion) is an integral part of our life as Muslims and should be celebrated. Performing Hajj, 

, memorizing Quran, and starting to pray are all Islamic milestones that are worth celebrating.

(Planning a celebration of any sort can be overwhelming. To help you with the basics, read my post on 

 narrated by the Prophet Muhammad (saw) on ordering our children to practice praying at seven years old. While this hadith is 

, meaning that the chain of narrators is not as well established as sahih, it is still credible to use as supporting evidence. Turning seven is a big step, and by this age many Muslim children have begun their Quran reading or memorizing journey and may even have started to fast some hours of the day in Ramadan.

I think it is a great age to introduce the concept of salah as well. It’s important to note that every child is at a different stage in their upbringing and willingness to learn and practice. The Prophet Muhamad (saw) is known to have been kind, gentle and practical, especially when it comes to implementing fundamental aspects of our 

part of our everyday life as Muslims, it is one of the five pillars of Islam, which makes highlighting this milestone all the more important and necessary. It’s hard to believe my own daughter embarked on her seventh year of life last October. Her father and I talked about planning a salah party as she begins to practice praying and making wudu. I’m excited to do this!

Whether you decide to revolve your child’s birthday party (if you celebrate birthdays) around salah or dedicate another special day for the festivities, let’s plan a 

While the main purpose is to get our little Muslims excited about salah, we can always incorporate their favorite characters, colors and activities to make a customized theme that is unique to your child. I love 

 Tea Party Salah-bration and all the little details.

Centering your party around a specific theme will help you better plan the type of food, dessert and activities you want to prepare. With Ramadan closely approaching, it would be a great idea to incorporate a 

 with salah for the ultimate spiritual boosting party as we prepare ourselves for the month of worship and prayer.

Since this is a salah party after all, take the time to think about what type of lessons you want your child and their friends to take away from this celebration. The goal is to introduce the concept of salah and to hopefully instill a love for this obligation that they will carry with them as they grow and mature.

Here’s some ways to build upon the salah theme, starting with 

 great post with bite sized information on salah, its importance and reward, that you can incorporate into your party.

 When thinking of party games, be sure to keep in mind the age group you are hosting. Islamic Jeopardy is always a fun and easy game to customize to your age group. For young children around 5-7 years old, some categories you can include are Salah, Prophets, Islam, Quran and Miscellaneous. Check out 

video for some examples of simple questions for each.

 Having a wudu demonstration is a great way to practice the steps of wudu while also discussing the concept and importance of cleanliness in Islam. Make it an activity by having your child demonstrate in front of their friends the steps they would do if they were in the bathroom. Afterwards, have a wudu chart making station, where everyone can write down and decorate their very own wudu chart to hang in their bathrooms at home to help them practice!

 out visuals that align with each step, lay out some construction paper, add stickers to match your theme, and finally provide a protective sheet cover to keep the chart from getting wet. You can also print 

step by step wudu chart, laminate and gift to your guests as part of their party favors. A salah tracker is another great take home goodie to include as part of the kids’ favors or activity they can make at the party.

 It’s always a good idea to sprinkle some functional favors and crafts while keeping things exciting and fun. Adding a kid-friendly hijab, kufi or prayer rug is another great gift option for your guests and will allow your child to receive endless 

(good deeds) every time their friends use them for prayer.

 Keep the atmosphere alive and fun with some of your favorite Islamic nasheeds playing in the background throughout your activities and while your guests are munching on all the yummy food and treats. My kids and I are huge fans of 

 Don’t forget to include salah time in your activities! Plan your party time around one of the five prayers that best suits your schedule, and encourage your child to lead their friends in congregation after they’ve all learned and made their wudu. If your child is shy, that’s ok! Ask if any of the other guests would like to lead, or you lead them! It would be the perfect ending to your salah-bration and a beautiful way to instill the value of praying together versus alone whenever possible. Touch on this and talk about the multitude of rewards Muslims receive for praying together.

With Ramadan closely approaching, and our little ones growing up too fast, let’s build a loving foundation for one of the pillars of our faith that is our key to Jannah! Salah is a special time to connect with Allah (S). May He make our little ones of His righteous servants and of those who perform their salah on time. 

5 Fun Activities to Do When Planning a 'Salah-bration' for Your Child!

In a world where environmental consciousness has become increasingly essential, the wisdom of Islamic teachings about caring for the Earth has never been more relevant. Rooted in a profound sense of stewardship, Islamic principles encourage believers to be responsible custodians of the planet.

The Green Deen: What Islam Teaches about Protecting the Planet

 by the late Ibrahim Abdul Matin emerged as a groundbreaking work, merging Islamic values with ecological wisdom. Despite the tragic loss of Matin in 2023, his legacy lives on, reminding us of the urgent need to heed these teachings and integrate them into our lives. So, even though Matin’s seminal book was published nearly 15 years ago (and even though we tend to focus on issues about and the work of Muslim women here on this blog), we thought it important to revisit this book and his work as we head into 2024 with the utmost urgency of our planet’s health and future.

As we delve into the profound message of 

, it's crucial to confront the grim reality of climate change. The impact of climate change is undeniable, with rising global temperatures, more frequent and severe weather events and a cascade of environmental consequences. As Muslims and as inhabitants of this planet, we are not immune to its effects.

Rising sea levels threaten coastal communities, droughts disrupt food security and extreme heat waves endanger lives. The numbers are alarming, with one 

 indicating that by 2050, more than 200 million people may be forced to migrate due to climate change. This is a critical issue for Muslims and humanity as a whole. Our faith teaches us to be stewards of the earth, and addressing climate change is not just an environmental concern but a moral obligation.

 and the work of dedicated environmentalists like Matin remind us that the time for action is now. We must unite in our efforts to combat climate change, not only for the sake of our planet but also for the well-being and justice of all its inhabitants.

In this book review, we will delve into the timeless significance of 

 and the enduring impact of Matin's insights on the intersection of faith, environmentalism and social justice.

Ibrahim Abdul Matin, an author and advocate for environmental justice, left a mark with his book. Originally published in 2010, 

 highlights the intersection of faith and environmentalism. Matin's unique perspective blended Islamic teachings with ecological wisdom, bridging spirituality and sustainability in an approachable way for Muslims and non-Muslims.

He writes, “In the Quran, we are reminded that everything in the heavens and on Earth belongs to God. We are simply caretakers of this divine trust.” Matin's words remind us that environmentalism is not merely a secular concern but an intrinsic part of our faith, calling us to protect and cherish the planet as an act of worship.

One of the book's standout features is its ability to deliver a profound message with clarity and conciseness. This quality resonates with those working for a racial equity nonprofit. In the pursuit of racial justice, there is a need for clear, direct and actionable solutions to address systemic inequalities and environmental injustices that disproportionately affect marginalized communities. Matin's book offers a concise roadmap for integrating environmental justice into the broader framework of social equity, aligning with the goals and values of those committed to advancing racial equality.

Its direct and accessible approach ensures that the message of environmental responsibility and justice can be effectively communicated and implemented within racial equity work.

Matin explores the intersection between Islamic teachings and environmental stewardship. He conveys essential messages that will resonate with readers, making it a compelling read for individuals seeking to deepen their understanding of faith, sustainability and social responsibility.

The chapters of this book tackle various aspects of environmentalism through an Islamic lens. Matin establishes the spiritual connection between humanity and the natural world, emphasizing that everything on Earth belongs to Allah (S) and that humans are entrusted with its care. He explores the concept of 

, the Islamic principle of the oneness of God, and how it extends to the interconnectedness of all living beings and ecosystems. Matin further delves into practical guidance on sustainable living, drawing from Islamic traditions and ethical principles.

 are deeply rooted in the idea that environmental stewardship is not just a duty, but an integral part of the Islamic faith. It emphasizes that sustainability and social justice are inseparable, highlighting the disproportionate impact of environmental degradation on marginalized communities. The book also challenges the prevailing notion of consumerism and encourages readers to adopt a more mindful and minimalist approach to consumption.

 is direct and concise, making it an accessible resource for anyone interested in understanding environmental stewardship's ethical and moral dimensions. His untimely passing in 2023 was a tragic loss to the Muslim community. However, Matin’s legacy lives on through his impactful writings, especially 

, which inspires individuals and organizations dedicated to creating a more equitable and sustainable world.

 significantly contributes to Muslim environmentalism, solidifying Matin’s place alongside other influential Muslim environmentalists, like 

. Matin has enriched the discourse on the intersection of Islamic values and environmental stewardship through his work, inspiring a new generation of eco-conscious individuals within the Muslim community and beyond.

 remains a must-read for those who seek to explore the interconnectedness of spirituality, environmentalism and social justice. Matin's work transcends time, reminding us that our actions have consequences not only on our planet but also on the well-being of all its inhabitants. This book is a testament to the enduring power of ideas and the lasting impact of visionary authors like Ibrahim Abdul Matin.


The Timeless Legacy of 'The Green Deen,' an Exploration of Islam and Environmentalism

It's time for our annual #LikeYouMeanItHH end-of-the-year reflection time when we discuss what it means to renew our intentions around hijab and various aspects of our lives. While in past years, we’ve reflected on what it means to "wear it [hijab] like you mean it," this year, that focus felt too narrow and out-of-touch with the realities of our current world and lives. These are difficult, challenging, painful, somber times - for a number of reasons. And we want to explore what it means to live and focus “like you mean it” against the backdrop of everything we are enduring. We invite you (and ourselves) to renew our intentions and reflect on what our faith, families, and commitment to fighting for justice mean to us.

Amidst the tumultuous world today, Haute Hijab’s #LikeYouMeanItHH annual campaign emerges as a call to action and a guiding philosophy for conscious Muslim parenting. As parents, we are navigating a landscape marked by significant challenges: the war and ongoing genocide in Gaza, the 

, the persecution of Muslims in India, and the plight of Rohingya and Uyghur Muslims, and on and on.

These global events have inevitably led us to a point of reckoning, prompting us to reevaluate our intentions and priorities in both our 

(worldly life). For those of us who are parents, this reckoning feeds into questions about how we should shepherd our children through these times. How do we parent with intention? Here are six things we all can do.

The reality of these crises has shifted our focus, compelling us to reassess what we hold dear in our faith and daily lives. As Muslim parents, our primary concern is to raise our children with strong Islamic values, instilling in them the importance of empathy, resilience, and community. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "The best among you are those who have the best manners and character." [Bukhari] This teaching takes on a renewed significance in these trying times.

We are competing with a myriad of things for our children’s attention, for our ability to educate and inform them, to teach them about their faith and this world, about what it means to be strong, empathetic, just Muslims. How and where do we gain their attention?

As a parent in the U.S., my daily routine often involves driving my children to their activities and running errands, which can add up to two hours in the car. Surprisingly, this has become a valuable opportunity for us to have conversations that might not happen otherwise. I'm constantly amazed at my children's awareness of global events and their deep understanding of these issues during these drives.

Our car rides have become a unique space for meaningful discussions about faith, world affairs, and personal accountability.  Using these dialogues as a tool, I hope to provide my children with information and insights that nurture their curiosity and inspire them to live purposefully in all aspects of life.

Sure, sometimes it's better to keep it quiet if everyone needs time to be silent, decompress and rest. But, you do spend a significant amount of time driving your kids around. Use that time to peek into their worlds and carefully instigate conversations about what is happening around us and how we should respond as compassionate, justice-seeking Muslims.

To truly "live like you mean it" embodies embracing each day with deliberate intention and purpose. This involves wholeheartedly nurturing our faith, where acts of worship transcend mere routines, becoming heartfelt expressions of our love and devotion to Allah (S). This philosophy profoundly influences our parenting approach. We strive to teach our children the significance of prayer, the strength of patience, and the necessity of extending compassion to all, regardless of race, religion, or nationality.

Being Muslim also involves an active engagement with our surrounding society, blending seamlessly rather than standing apart. It is essential to encourage our children to volunteer in the community, assume leadership roles in their schools, and participate wherever possible. This visibility is crucial. In the Hasan household, we embody this by actively volunteering in our local community, setting an example of how to live a life visibly, and actively engaged in the broader society while holding firmly to our Islamic values.

In the context of parenting, embodying our faith means demonstrating the values of Islam through our actions. Our children learn more from what they see us do than we tell them. When they observe us responding to global crises with prayer, charity, and advocacy, they learn the importance of being proactive members of the global 

when they see us as their parents, they are proactive members of the global ummah. 

As Allah (S) says in the Quran, "You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and believe in Allah." [Quran 3:110]

We are raising children in precarious times, and equipping them with resilience and empathy is vital. This involves open discussions about Muslims' worldwide challenges, encouraging them to think critically and feel deeply about these issues.

It's about balancing awareness with hope, ensuring they understand that despite the hardships, our faith gives us the strength to persevere and the optimism to envision a better future. We shouldn’t be all doom and gloom with our children, as we are trying to equip them to build a better world and live their lives to the fullest.

 to learn how we can teach our children to embody resilience and empathy in a time of war and strife.

Experience a fulfilling and meaningful parenting journey by embracing the principle of "living like you mean it." In a society that often prioritizes individualism and the things that bring us joy and contentment, it is also crucial to teach our children the value of belonging to the global Muslim community, known as the ummah. We are only as strong as our collective selves, and our happiness, joy, safety and liberation is inextricably tied to that of our fellow Muslims and humans.

Engaging in local mosque activities, participating in community service, or connecting with Muslims worldwide – these experiences enrich our children’s understanding of being part of a diverse and vibrant faith community.

Beyond a mere slogan, the #LikeYouMeanItHH philosophy and annual campaign have become integral to our lives, especially in these challenging times. As Muslims who value parenting consciously, it is our responsibility to instill in our children the profound values of our religion. Our guidance empowers them to lead purposeful lives rooted in faith, resilience, and compassion. This journey equips them with the skills to navigate the world's complexities and make positive contributions, embodying Islam's essence.

Zaiba Hasan is part of the dynamic duo behind the award-winning podcast,

. She is the founder of and a spiritual parent coach at

, an interfaith mediator and sports mama extraordinaire. Look for her on the baseball fields and basketball courts in the DMV (Washington, D.C.-Maryland-Virginia) area cheering from the sidelines.

6 Ways to Navigate Conscious Muslim Intentional Parenting with a #LikeYouMeanItHH Philosophy

Have you been married to your partner for a long time now? Like going on for the past 10-15 years, or maybe two decades or more? Do you still love him? Does he still love you? And perhaps more importantly, do you still like him and vice versa?

Before we go any further –Salaams friends – it's me again. The Muslim woman hiding behind anonymity who brought you the story last May about "

Confessions of a Middle-Age Muslim Woman on What Confidence Looks LIke in One’s 40s

The husband and I are approaching 25 years together, which I recently realized is kind of this critical tipping point where I’ve currently been married as many years as I was single. That piece of information has been blowing my mind of late, and I have trouble sometimes remembering what I was even like before marriage, children, family and this whole post-single life happened to me.

I’ve been witnessing the second generation in my family navigate the whole courtship and marriage thing, with many nieces and nephews having gotten married the past few years or in that process now. Their approaches, their questions, the amount of vetting they and their families are doing as well as what their must-haves and non-negotiables are – it’s all been an incredibly eye-opening experience when juxtaposed with how my husband and I got together (a fairly traditional arrangement) and the things we’ve had to navigate through the past nearly 25 years.

 and get to know yourself before you spouse search.)

It’s so good that many things have changed when it comes to approaching marriage in our Islamic circles. But also, as each generation is wont to point out, some of the old-school things we’ve learned along the way are golden olden for a reason.

(Interested in pursuing a halal courtship? What does that look like? Check out 

About a year ago while she was making the rounds of media interviews after the release of her latest book, “The Light We Carry,” former first Lady Michelle Obama spoke candidly about what it takes to build a long-lasting marriage and the ups and downs that come with it. I attended an event where she was the main feature of a moderated discussion and heard first-hand her views on the commitment it takes to stay with someone for life, and why she fears it’s something younger generations will struggle with.

And so, what I learned that day is that the former first lady Michelle Obama was right when she said that all too often marriage is glamorized and that too many young people quit on marriage over things that are just “part of the commitment” because they are not ready “for the real of marriage.”

She went on to say that of their more than 30 years of marriage together, there were a solid ten when she “couldn’t stand” her husband.“

And honestly, given my ongoing marriage and the marriages I’ve borne witness to around me, that doesn’t shock me.

 several months ago, the former first lady said, “I share these things because marriage is hard [and] it’s incumbent upon us – people who have had successful marriages – to be really honest about the fact that making a commitment to be with someone means you compromise, and compromise ain’t always fun.

“And people think I’m catty by saying this, but it’s like there were 10 years when I couldn’t stand my husband. … Ten years. And guess when it happened? When those kids were little. … Because you know you can be all great individually when you’re just married. You got your life, he’s got his, you come together and it’s all [great]. … Then you have kids. The minute we had kids it was like, ‘Where are you going and how far? And you start measuring, and it’s like, ‘How many diapers did you change? And oh you’re GOLFING? Oh you have time to golf? How you at the gym all the time?’ … That’s when all the measuring starts … “

Nothing Michelle Obama is saying is new material. Talk to anyone who has been married for a long minute – there are years when you love each other, but you may not like each other very much. There are years when it feels like you’re living with a roommate rather than a spouse. 

There are years when it feels like you are two ships passing in the night. There are shifting priorities – years when he and his career, his passions take center stage; and hopefully years when you and your goals are put first, AND there are years when it’s all about the kids – all against the backdrop of creating history and raising a family together (whether kids are part of the picture or not.)

In a hang-out session with some good girlfriends awhile back, I mentioned that it took me a solid ten years – TEN YEARS – to feel like I could voice my opinion and clearly state what I did or did not want, what I would or would not do, what we could or could not manage in regards to my life as part of our married life and our married life together.

And, I don’t put the blame of this on my husband. I had my own cultural and familial baggage and lessons that were ingrained in me by my elders that I brought into our marriage. I often was my own blockage in speaking up with kindness and firmness about what I thought would be best for us and for me. I often found it easier to bend and prioritize the needs of everyone around me without doing the hard work to figure out how I could be part of the equation.

Will the Married Couples of Today Have What it Takes?

The husband and I have grown and nearly grown kids of our own now, and one of the biggest worries I have when it comes to their future life with a partner and the building of their own family is – do they understand what healthy compromise is, and do they understand that while loving one another will, Insha’Allah, always be part of their married lives (should they get married), that liking each other is just as important?

Will they understand that over the course of years together, the two individuals in a marriage will change and become different people, and it is imperative that both spouses work hard to understand how each other is changing and prioritize falling in love with each other through those iterations. Will you love every change in your spouse? Nope. But will you be able to find a way to continue on in your marriage with your partner as he/she evolves and also find ways to appreciate how he/she is evolving?

Will they realize that it’s never fifty-fifty, that one person will have to take a larger supportive role for the other, and those roles will (and should) switch over the course of a lifetime together? Will they learn to see love and respect from each in the different ways these fundamental marital ingredients manifest? Will they center kindness, fight fairly (for the most part) and nurture communication?

(Think you have found the perfect person and want to get married? Here are 

100 questions you and your potential spouse can ask each other

. Heck these are great questions to ask after marriage, too!)

Will they realize that learning to love oneself is as important as loving one’s partner? Will they honor the life they build together by working hard to see the beauty in each other and in that partnership?

There will always be reasons to separate and walk away from each other. That is the truth of this life. There are things that are unacceptable in a marriage. There are marriages where the happiness ends and it’s just better for two people not to stay together, and divorce is our Islamic right.

But, there’s also something very beautiful and unglamorous and solid about staying together, growing old together, nurturing mature love together. I hope that’s what we’ve been modeling to our kids.

I’ve been married now as long as I’ve been single. Marriage is hard. Building a family is hard. There are so many things I would do differently if my husband and I were to start over again. But also, there is a reason, a purpose to this life we’ve built together and all the mistakes, misunderstandings, challenging years, joyous times and steady, dependable love that continues to build our path together.

“If I fell out with [Barack Obama] for 10 [years,] and we had a great 20 years, I’d take those odds anytime,” said the former first lady.

As far as I’m concerned, and you may not agree with me, Michelle Obama is right.

Michelle Obama was Right – Staying Married for the Long Haul is Hard But Can Totally Be Worth It

Practicing gratitude in the face of ongoing genocide in Palestine seems incongruent at this time. None of us are feeling like celebrating anything right now, and even trying to practice gratitude feels like an exercise in privilege when our fellow sisters and brothers are suffering so much, while we live in relative comfort and safety. It seems to be a betrayal to our brethren. 

Most of us as parents cannot even articulate our pain right now, much less figure out how to help our kids come to terms with genocide in Palestine.

is not about ignoring or diminishing the severity of the situation, rather it’s about finding resilience, empathy and connection amidst the darkness. 

Every day we hear people suffering unimaginable losses who start and end their laments with “

” in expressing contentment for what Allah (S) has decreed. Addressing this with children requires careful consideration in order to balance harsh realities with the importance of cultivating empathy and gratitude.

Before introducing the concept of gratitude to children in the context of ongoing genocide in Gaza and Palestine, it is essential that they have a basic understanding of the historical and cultural aspects involved. Tailor the information to their age and maturity level, presenting it in a way that is comprehensible and respectful of their emotional capacity.

If you are Palestinian, you know your history as both witness and teacher to your children to help them understand it. If you’re not Palestinian and have a Palestinian friend or contact who can teach you about the history, DON’T ASK THEM. It is our responsibility to be informed without further adding to the grief of an affected people and its diaspora.

And, if our first line of information is TikTok or our friends, we aren’t making a true effort to be informed. There are several books that can help with our own education on Palestinian history, including for children:

 (Any of her fiction will dehydrate you through tears.)

A Palestinian woman doing tatreez; image source: National Geographic Archives, Imagining the Holy Project, National Geographic December 1926.

 hosted by Diana Buttu and produced by the 

 produced by The Telegraph (episodes try to be balanced but fall short)

 produced by Canadians for Justice and Peace in the Middle East

 hosted by Yahav Erev (a pro-Palestinian Israeli)

We’ve asked some of the people listed above to come on as guests for our upcoming Mommying While Muslim December series: All About Palestine, and all episodes will be related to what has been and is happening there. We don’t know who to follow on TikTok because we (Zaiba and myself) aren’t on there that much. But if you know some good sources of information, let us know at 

, and we will reach out to those accounts for the series as well.

 that can be helpful for kids of all ages to learn about Palestine, the resistance movement, and the current genocide that is happening in Gaza.)

Palestine, Tulkarem district in 1948.; a group of around 1,000 people, including many mothers and children, forced to flee their homes during the first Israeli invasion. (File photo: ICRC)

It’s important that we help children understand the pain and suffering experienced by others, acknowledging that it is okay to feel sadness, anger and confusion about such injustice. Share the following hadith with your kids:

Encourage open conversations, answering their questions with honesty while being mindful of their emotional well-being. If you have a child with high anxiety or sensory issues, they should not listen to or watch the images out of Palestine. In fact, most of the graphic ones should not be shown at all to young children, and only after discussion with older children.

Young children can color or write cards of support to the people of Gaza and you can set these aside for when materials can get there. Remember to send them when the time for it comes. You could also digitally share these cards of support on social media. Or they can certainly pass them out now to friends and family who are Palestinian. Activists in the street who are constantly being accused of a crime will also appreciate these innocent and sincere messages.

My 15, 14, and 12 year-olds have all looked up the genocide online and seen the videos and images, then they have come and discussed them with me. I said the same thing to them: Be careful what you see and how it makes you feel. Pain and anger must be used to fuel change, not more pain, anger or more hate. Direct those energies to protests, rallies, vigils and letters to Congress to demand a ceasefire. More below.

how to contact your congressional representatives

In discussing ongoing genocide, emphasize stories of resilience and courage within affected communities. Share examples of individuals and groups working towards positive change, rebuilding their lives, and fostering hope amidst adversity. Stories of an unlikely live recovery in the rubble, or a family reunited will be good examples to maintain hope and possibility to young children. Stories of all afflicted people praising Allah (S) or declaring that they are not the ones being tested, but that we are, can inspire and incentivize older children to be grateful and act now.

Help children understand that expressing gratitude for safety, access to education and a supportive community does not negate the suffering of others, but rather emphasizes the importance of working towards a world where everyone can enjoy these rights. For younger children, this can be done via discussion while reading the books listed above.

Right now, our younger kids don’t need any bubbles to be burst about the realities of corrupt governments or be asked why leaders aren’t protecting them. None of us has that answer. Let children believe they can be the leaders who, one day 

It‘s okay to discuss the hypocrisy of leaders with older children and encourage them to have those discussions about human rights and cognitive dissonance without diving into religion in public spaces. It really depends on your kids’ maturity and ability to handle such discussions. If your kids join Amnesty International or Model UN, these are great opportunities for them to practice both public speaking and policy making and bring up, “What about Palestine?” without (Insha’Allah) getting in trouble. 

, trying to disband these school clubs to prevent our future generation from learning diplomacy and negotiation. That’s incentive enough to fight for and join them!

Going to vigils, marches, lectures and watching documentaries about Palestine will demonstrate the violations of human rights to older children better than we can, allowing them to exercise their brains and their civil rights.

We can’t say this enough. Model gratitude in the small wins: the light turned green before hitting the brakes, the weather warmed up, dinner was tasty, your kid got a “B” on the assignment. Say Alhamdulillah, carry your 

, or do it on your fingers as the sunnah until it’s a habit, and don’t stop in front of the kids. Normalize it in public. I’m on the soccer pitch with my kids, and the other parents appreciate it, especially when we are down a goal. This demonstrates that gratitude is not about ignoring difficulties, but finding comfort in 

Explore diverse cultures and histories via age-appropriate books, documentaries, discussions, or with experiences that highlight both the beauty and challenges faced by people around the world. Understanding different perspectives fosters empathy and a deeper appreciation for the interconnectedness of humanity.

 (and beyond), teach your kids that gratitude is every day, and especially to the people upon whose land we live. They’ll understand occupation and land grabbing at all ages. Talk about the un-whitewashed history of the upcoming holiday, the feelings of Indigenous people, and discuss reparations and justice. Acknowledge the harsh realities of genocide while fostering empathy, resilience and a sense of responsibility to all oppressed people, and especially to Palestine as our collective Muslim history and cause.

Children can learn to appreciate the importance of standing in solidarity with those who suffer while actively working towards a more just and compassionate world a lot easier than adults can. Trust them.

Dr. Uzma Jafri is originally from Texas, mom to four self-directed learners, a volunteer in multiple organizations from dawah resources to refugee social support services, and runs her own private practice. She is an aspiring writer and co host of

podcast, tipping the scales towards that ever elusive balance as the podcast tackles issues second generation Americans have the voice and stomach to tackle.

Teaching Our Children to Embody Gratitude as Resistance in a Time of Strife, War & Genocide

) holds profound significance in Islam, extending far beyond a fleeting sentiment. It forms the foundation of faith and serves as a transformative practice anchoring us, especially during challenging times. When faced with crises and the intricate dance between privilege and despair, the power of gratitude emerges as a beacon of spiritual mindfulness and emotional resilience.

How, then, do we, as Muslims blessed with faith and countless unseen blessings, harness this power to navigate the storms of life? When others around us are suffering unimaginable things, how can gratitude help us ground ourselves and serve others who need us?

Within the Holy Quran, the virtues of gratitude are extolled, and the 

of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) abounds with lessons on the profound impact of a grateful heart. In my household, gratitude is interwoven into the fabric of our daily existence. It is an ongoing practice, not without imperfections, but one that we relentlessly pursue.

At the end of a challenging day, we ask ourselves: What valuable lessons lie within this experience that we can be grateful for? When a problematic conversation rattles us, we turn inward and reflect: How can we appreciate our own growth and evolution beyond this moment? When we are rendered incapacitated by grief at what is happening around us, how can the depth of our feelings and pain fuel us to change what is within our capacity to change?

Our personal journey underscores that gratitude is not merely a reactive emotion but a proactive strategy – a mental muscle that, when exercised, has the power to reshape the landscape of our brain chemistry for the better. As Muslims, we are fortunate that the concept of gratitude is not foreign to us; instead, it is deeply ingrained in the very essence of our faith. It’s not just about being thankful for what Allah (S) has given us or protected us from. It’s the doorway to so much more.

Gratitude is a profound virtue emphasized in Islamic teachings. Let's explore five strategies to cultivate this sense of gratitude.

As part of our daily remembrance (dhikr), we maintain a gratitude journal to document Allah's (S) blessings. Each entry serves as a testament to the countless favors bestowed upon us, from the air we breathe to the comfort of our homes and the warmth of our families. 

This practice of journaling not only nurtures a deeper appreciation for life's blessings and fosters a positive mindset. Writing in a gratitude journal helps us to focus on the abundance in our lives, cultivating a sense of contentment and resilience against life's challenges. It's a simple yet powerful tool for enhancing our spiritual and emotional well-being.

2. Expressing gratitude to others (shukr to Creation):

 Our Prophet Muhammad (saw) taught us that expressing gratitude towards people is an expression of gratitude towards Allah (S). Therefore, we make it a point to say 

to show appreciation to others. This practice upholds the sunnah and strengthens the bonds within our community.

True patience (sabr) entails having gratitude. It is a powerful reminder that even life's tests are enveloped in divine wisdom. We strive to emulate the patience and gratitude of the prophets, understanding that every hardship carries hidden blessings within. And we accept that when terrible things happen, things that make no sense to us, there is a divine mercy and wisdom beyond our understanding in this earthly life. Being grateful for that knowledge is truly something beautiful.

By engaging in mindful contemplation (tafakkur), we immerse ourselves in the present moment, recognizing the miracles surrounding us. Each miracle serves as a sign (