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My eyes open in a gentle flutter, and I stretch to the musical purrs of my cat, Sage, at the foot of my bed. The sky is still in opaque darkness, and I feel a sense of welcomed aloneness as a new day has been gifted to me. This is the time of day, sandwiched between the night and the morning, that I feel most connected to Allah (S). My routine is simple: perform 

If any of those steps are missing, my body and soul feel slightly off for the remainder of the day. As someone who prides herself on being a self-proclaimed “spiritual scientist,” I wanted to explore why I felt that way. In my quest to answer these questions, I uncovered the undeniable truth behind the power of prayer.

The Islamic tradition, rich in its practices and rituals, offers more than just a religious doctrine to worship and converse with Allah (S); it provides a holistic approach to well being that harmonizes life's mental, physical and spiritual aspects. Prayer (

) are integral components of this tradition, deeply rooted in the teachings of the Quran and the practices of Prophet Muhammad (saw).

Let’s explore three ways in which performing our prayers provides so many mental and physical health benefits.

 Regular prayer and meditation can bring significant mental health benefits. The practice of salah, especially in the early hours of tahajjud, offers a tranquil environment for self-reflection and connection with Allah (S). This quiet time allows for clearing the mind and reducing stress and anxiety. 

The repetitive nature of dhikr, the act of remembering Allah (S) through phrases like 

, functions as a form of mindfulness meditation, helping to focus the mind and foster a sense of inner peace.

 Physically, the acts of wudu and salah are akin to gentle exercises. The movements involved in salah – standing, bowing, prostrating and sitting – improve flexibility and promote blood circulation. Regular prayer can contribute to better posture and muscle tone. Additionally, the discipline of fasting, particularly during Ramadan, has been noted for its detoxifying effects and its role in improving metabolic health. We know that’s not why we fast, but what a wonderful side benefit!

 On a spiritual level, prayer and meditation strengthen one's connection with Allah (S). This connection is pivotal in Islamic spirituality. It provides a sense of purpose and direction, aligning one’s actions and thoughts with divine will. Prayer is not just a ritual; it is a conversation with Allah (S), a moment to express gratitude, seek guidance and find solace in the divine presence. 

This spiritual practice fosters a deep sense of peace and contentment, reinforcing the belief in a higher purpose and the transient nature of worldly struggles.

As advocated in Islam, the integration of prayer and meditation into daily life transcends religious obligation, offering a comprehensive approach to nurturing the mind, body and soul. My journey and subsequent research into the effects of these practices have led me to appreciate the profound wisdom in these rituals. 

They are not just acts of worship but also tools for holistic well-being, enhancing mental clarity, physical health and spiritual connectivity. As I continue my daily routine of tahajjud, wudu and chai, I am reminded of the harmonious balance these practices bring to my life, enriching my days with a sense of fulfillment and tranquility.

Until next time, may you find peace, balance, and the power of prayer.

Zaiba Hasan is part of the dynamic duo behind the award-winning podcast,

. She is the founder of and a spiritual parent coach at

, an interfaith mediator and sports mama extraordinaire. Look for her on the baseball fields and basketball courts in the DMV (Washington, D.C.-Maryland-Virginia) area cheering from the sidelines.

3 Ways Our Practice of Salah (Prayer) and Dhikr (Meditation) Deeply Benefits Our Well Being

The way things are going, we will be hitting the streets and the polls for at least another month according to the latest hints from the right-wing government of Israel. In the meantime, getting our lawmakers’ attention to majority sentiments is not just our civic duty, but our civil right.

(Have you called your elected officials to demand a ceasefire? Here’s 

 talking about how to protest safely, having attended trainings and been a trainer for street actions in the past. While my expertise lies mainly as a medic, the basis of what I know about the history of direct action and action medicine is from my colleagues at Phoenix Urban Health Collective, to whom I am forever indebted.

While you don’t have to be a doctor or nurse to be a medic, I happen to be a practicing physician. One of my duties is to treat people who are sick, but when I see the same sickness happening again and again, my focus must shift to address the root cause of that illness. Putting 

 (we don’t use the J&J version in our house) on a problem is a quick fix, but not the final solution. Which naturally brings us to Palestine.

I Had to Learn For Myself – Why Palestine?

My whole life I wondered about Palestine and why people who were so oppressed didn’t just leave. Even when I protested for Palestine in college, I thought, well 

(migration) was better if it provided freedom of religion, but I’ll march because everyone else is. Obviously this details how little I understood of the region and history. 

Before medical school, I learned about Gazans from some Palestinian colleagues, who told me these were the strongest women in the world. But why be strong when their kids are being kidnapped (we don’t say “detained” in our house) and killed on a regular basis behind a dehumanizing wall?

I was stupid enough to ask a dear Palestinian friend about 10 years ago why Palestinians continued to stay where they were systematically being squeezed out or extinguished, and she answered, “Because that’s exactly what they want. They want us to leave our land, and we will die for it.”

Well damn, Gina. (Side note: You have to have watched the show “Martin” to get that reference.) That wasn’t her name, but 

, she remains my friend to this day despite my ignorance.

 In my lifetime, I was told by Brown, Black and the whole rainbow of people that it’s “complicated;” but I knew watching a 12-year-old unarmed boy on TV get shot despite his unarmed father’s best efforts to protect him was anything but complicated. It was simple. “One day” I would understand, and Gina made that day finally come.

Almost 30 years ago, before the blockade and genocide of Gaza, my hot-blooded friends and I protested outside the Israeli embassy in our college days. Since then, every Ramadan, and every couple of years when Israel “mowed the grass,” we continued to witness the brutality of occupation in Palestine..

Image source: Unsplash; photo by Merch Husey

And now as a mom of 4 of my own kids and khalto to 3 more Palestinian ones, I know quick fixes don’t work. Neither do calls, letters, protests or even educating people because at this point, the whole world knows what has and is happening in occupied Palestine, and they simply do not care. I’ve done all those things, but I never put my body on the line for Palestine, for my own holy land, the way Palestinians did.

So, when I received a message a few weeks ago, late on a Monday night, that a sit-in was being planned at my senator’s office with the possibility of arrest the very next day, my colonized brain quickly shot out, “Oh, but this could affect my work and record.” Followed by, “What if 

Getting Trained to Be Arrested as a Form of Protest

These types of civil actions are usually clandestine, on a need to know basis, and very few details about what and how are provided. I casually asked my husband if he was okay with me being arrested, to which he replied, “No, but be back home by Wednesday. I have to go out of town.” He didn’t ask for details, whats or hows. I love this man.

My intention was to force a ceasefire in Palestine, and I signed on at first, “to see.” I wasn’t yet sure that I was willing to be arrested for it. So I hit my prayer rug before bed with du’a for guidance and purification of my intentions, topped off with a tasbeeh of hasbee Allahs. Palestinians have shown us the power of that prayer. I went to sleep feeling butterflies in my stomach and in my heart. But I knew the best things I’d ever done, I’d done scared.

We’d been advised of what color to wear the next day so I entered my closet and immediately found the pants I thought I lost eight months before. I’d torn the house apart looking for them! These are the most comfortable pants in the world, and knowing I had them back so unexpectedly was my sign from Allah (S). He knows I’m very easy to please.

By the end of that morning’s training, I was sure I was willing to be arrested because:

1. The action was well organized with jail support and pro bono legal support.

2. Organizers had been arrested multiple times for civil disobedience and were pros.

3. At least three of us were Jewish anti-Zionists, and since I’d never met one before, I cried happy, overwhelmed tears.

4. The worst charge would be trespass, a misdemeanor, and for physician licensure, I’d have to report it, but it wouldn’t affect my renewal.

5. If Canary Mission doxxed me, I owned my own practices, and no one could fire me.

6. All the numbers I needed were written in Sharpie on my arm, because my phone would be taken in an arrest. 

I didn’t have to mark myself with Sharpie to be identified in death

Dr. Uzma Jafri being arrested and escorted by police a few weeks back. Image source: Instagram.

After 2-3 hours of peacefully taking over the small waiting area of the senator’s office, we were advised by his staff that we needed to leave or they’d “have to” call the police. The owners of the space at such actions warn protestors that they’re going to call the police, then the police come and warn everyone to leave or risk arrest. Then the police asks again to the effect of, “Do you understand you’re being arrested?” Ample opportunity to cease and not be arrested should be provided.

Did you know that we pay senators AND their rent through our taxes, 

 As my case is ongoing, I think that’s all I can say in addition to, as taxpayers we had a right to be inside the senator’s office as long as we wanted to, and I was sitting on a couch I bought. It was nice, too.

We knew the police had arrived when our phones slowed down because they had jammers to block signals. They also have software to pull data from phones, so we turned them off. Best practice. My last phone call was an incoming one from my son: “Ammi, I don’t think this is a good idea. Don’t do anything stupid. I love you.” At least I know he listens when I drop him off with his friends.

Everyone who didn’t want to risk arrest left the building to protest on the sidewalk, and two plain clothes officers came to warn us with the final rendition of “this is your last chance to get out.” I had my tasbeeh and just kept silently reciting hasbee Allah because the key to being arrested is, say nothing, say nothing, and then say nothing some more.

Once we were sealed inside the glass-walled office, about 20 riot-geared police officers entered and put handcuffs on us one at a time. They asked, “Do you understand you’re being arrested?” No Miranda rights are required unless you’re on a bad police sitcom. I didn’t answer so they shrugged and cuffed me. Resisting arrest can escalate charges to a felony, so we all complied because this was a peaceful protest, and we were going to maintain peace. Then a pair flanked and marched each of us outside past 20 more riot gear clad officers. 

We walked out chanting, “Ceasefire now.”

Our duos of officers led us to a long line of police SUVs surrounded by 20 or so more riot-clad officers, quite a reception for just 10 peaceful protestors AND such a good use of tax dollars! The very young officer in my pair asked if I had anything to poke him with and I assured him I did not. Short guys have never been my type, especially those who haven't even cut their wisdom teeth yet. That part I didn’t say because “peaceful,” right?

Each of us got our own police SUV. Again, excellent use of taxes. A police SUV has a hard plastic bench in the back with very little leg room for a small person, which I am not. There was a thick plastic shield between the officers and me. They asked for my name, date of birth and address, which I provided as advised by the legal team during morning training. I’d spent the whole day reassuring myself that I could handle the smell of jail pee and sleep sitting up, or just stay up for days on end because my medical training prepared me. I just wanted to get processed and to jail ASAP.

Processing usually takes place at a precinct. It was 8 minutes away from the senator’s office, but my young officers got lost for 25. In the process, their turns were not gentle and I swayed uncomfortably with my hands behind my back. But I maintained my posture with firm feet and composure, reciting hasbee Allah while I looked out the window. I knew they were watching me through the rear view mirror even though their conversation was about how they wanted nachos and how lost they were. No kidding.

By the time we arrived at the precinct, we learned that the printer there wasn’t working. We were seated in a conference room at tables in a U-shape, far from each other. The rule still was: Say nothing. And while a few officers furiously typed on computers, a pair of officers marched each of us out individually. We had no idea where they were being taken, and assumed it was to mugshots and fingerprints. One of the typers was actually wearing a pouch that read “This is the way.” Talk about not getting the assignment!

By that time, I was ready for jail or, really, anything. Even though my beads were on my cuffed wrists, prayer was on my lips. No one could take that away from me, and I was super relaxed.

It actually surprised me when I was lifted to my feet, uncuffed, asked to rub my index finger on a Sharpie (not enough taxes for ink pads?) and provide a single print. I was handed a paper (I guess the printer finally worked) and walked outside, flanked by my duo who said, “Okay.”

“Wherever you want. Just get off our property.” And they closed the door. 

Again, if my tax dollars are paying for it, it’s not theirs, but I was pretty shocked and headed to the sidewalk, which IS public property. As each one of us trickled out, we welcomed each other there. Pretty anticlimactic, but I was told by the seasoned ones that this can happen. 

We each got a ticket for trespassing and were sent home after a big show of force and probably several thousand in tax dollars. A court date was listed on the ticket for a long weekend. Our support and legal teams were already on their way to jail when we called them to turn around and pick us up. It only took them 10 minutes because they can read maps.

and get home in time for dinner with my family. My initial appearance in court was rescheduled by the legal team and will now be January 17th 

, with my nine new friends. Getting arrested together creates a bond I’ll be able to explain better after a few more arrests. For now, we’re family.

In the meantime, anyone who worries about a nebulous “permanent record” or ruining lives and careers with a misdemeanor, remember who can get elected POTUS and SCOTUS in this country. I think we learned these stories so we’d have an excuse not to act. 

But as Prophet Muhammad (saw) said, “Whoever among you sees evil, let him change it with his hand. If he cannot do so, then with his tongue. If he cannot do so, then with his heart, which is the weakest level of faith.” [Sahih Muslim]

And because Palestinians have only ever shown us the strongest of 


Stay tuned to Mommying While Muslim podcast this month for our emergency series "What’s Going on in Palestine," publishing every Thursday at 6 p.m. EST, and email salam@mommyingwhilemuslim.com if you want to come on as a guest expert.

Dr. Uzma Jafri is originally from Texas, mom to four self-directed learners, a volunteer in multiple organizations from dawah resources to refugee social support services, and runs her own private practice. She is an aspiring writer and co host of

podcast, tipping the scales towards that ever elusive balance as the podcast tackles issues second generation Americans have the voice and stomach to tackle.

Step 1, Protest for Palestine; Step 2, Get Arrested, Step 3, Live to Tell the Tale

It's time for our annual #LikeYouMeanItHH end-of-the-year reflection time when we discuss what it means to renew our intentions around hijab and various aspects of our lives. While in past years, we’ve reflected on what it means to "wear it [hijab] like you mean it," this year, that focus felt too narrow and out-of-touch with the realities of our current world and lives. These are difficult, challenging, painful, somber times - for a number of reasons. And we want to explore what it means to live and focus “like you mean it” against the backdrop of everything we are enduring. We invite you (and ourselves) to renew our intentions and reflect on what our faith, families, and commitment to fighting for justice mean to us.

Amidst the tumultuous world today, Haute Hijab’s #LikeYouMeanItHH annual campaign emerges as a call to action and a guiding philosophy for conscious Muslim parenting. As parents, we are navigating a landscape marked by significant challenges: the war and ongoing genocide in Gaza, the 

, the persecution of Muslims in India, and the plight of Rohingya and Uyghur Muslims, and on and on.

These global events have inevitably led us to a point of reckoning, prompting us to reevaluate our intentions and priorities in both our 

(worldly life). For those of us who are parents, this reckoning feeds into questions about how we should shepherd our children through these times. How do we parent with intention? Here are six things we all can do.

The reality of these crises has shifted our focus, compelling us to reassess what we hold dear in our faith and daily lives. As Muslim parents, our primary concern is to raise our children with strong Islamic values, instilling in them the importance of empathy, resilience, and community. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "The best among you are those who have the best manners and character." [Bukhari] This teaching takes on a renewed significance in these trying times.

We are competing with a myriad of things for our children’s attention, for our ability to educate and inform them, to teach them about their faith and this world, about what it means to be strong, empathetic, just Muslims. How and where do we gain their attention?

As a parent in the U.S., my daily routine often involves driving my children to their activities and running errands, which can add up to two hours in the car. Surprisingly, this has become a valuable opportunity for us to have conversations that might not happen otherwise. I'm constantly amazed at my children's awareness of global events and their deep understanding of these issues during these drives.

Our car rides have become a unique space for meaningful discussions about faith, world affairs, and personal accountability.  Using these dialogues as a tool, I hope to provide my children with information and insights that nurture their curiosity and inspire them to live purposefully in all aspects of life.

Sure, sometimes it's better to keep it quiet if everyone needs time to be silent, decompress and rest. But, you do spend a significant amount of time driving your kids around. Use that time to peek into their worlds and carefully instigate conversations about what is happening around us and how we should respond as compassionate, justice-seeking Muslims.

To truly "live like you mean it" embodies embracing each day with deliberate intention and purpose. This involves wholeheartedly nurturing our faith, where acts of worship transcend mere routines, becoming heartfelt expressions of our love and devotion to Allah (S). This philosophy profoundly influences our parenting approach. We strive to teach our children the significance of prayer, the strength of patience, and the necessity of extending compassion to all, regardless of race, religion, or nationality.

Being Muslim also involves an active engagement with our surrounding society, blending seamlessly rather than standing apart. It is essential to encourage our children to volunteer in the community, assume leadership roles in their schools, and participate wherever possible. This visibility is crucial. In the Hasan household, we embody this by actively volunteering in our local community, setting an example of how to live a life visibly, and actively engaged in the broader society while holding firmly to our Islamic values.

In the context of parenting, embodying our faith means demonstrating the values of Islam through our actions. Our children learn more from what they see us do than we tell them. When they observe us responding to global crises with prayer, charity, and advocacy, they learn the importance of being proactive members of the global 

when they see us as their parents, they are proactive members of the global ummah. 

As Allah (S) says in the Quran, "You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and believe in Allah." [Quran 3:110]

We are raising children in precarious times, and equipping them with resilience and empathy is vital. This involves open discussions about Muslims' worldwide challenges, encouraging them to think critically and feel deeply about these issues.

It's about balancing awareness with hope, ensuring they understand that despite the hardships, our faith gives us the strength to persevere and the optimism to envision a better future. We shouldn’t be all doom and gloom with our children, as we are trying to equip them to build a better world and live their lives to the fullest.

 to learn how we can teach our children to embody resilience and empathy in a time of war and strife.

Experience a fulfilling and meaningful parenting journey by embracing the principle of "living like you mean it." In a society that often prioritizes individualism and the things that bring us joy and contentment, it is also crucial to teach our children the value of belonging to the global Muslim community, known as the ummah. We are only as strong as our collective selves, and our happiness, joy, safety and liberation is inextricably tied to that of our fellow Muslims and humans.

Engaging in local mosque activities, participating in community service, or connecting with Muslims worldwide – these experiences enrich our children’s understanding of being part of a diverse and vibrant faith community.

Beyond a mere slogan, the #LikeYouMeanItHH philosophy and annual campaign have become integral to our lives, especially in these challenging times. As Muslims who value parenting consciously, it is our responsibility to instill in our children the profound values of our religion. Our guidance empowers them to lead purposeful lives rooted in faith, resilience, and compassion. This journey equips them with the skills to navigate the world's complexities and make positive contributions, embodying Islam's essence.

6 Ways to Navigate Conscious Muslim Intentional Parenting with a #LikeYouMeanItHH Philosophy

Have you been married to your partner for a long time now? Like going on for the past 10-15 years, or maybe two decades or more? Do you still love him? Does he still love you? And perhaps more importantly, do you still like him and vice versa?

Before we go any further –Salaams friends – it's me again. The Muslim woman hiding behind anonymity who brought you the story last May about "

Confessions of a Middle-Age Muslim Woman on What Confidence Looks LIke in One’s 40s

The husband and I are approaching 25 years together, which I recently realized is kind of this critical tipping point where I’ve currently been married as many years as I was single. That piece of information has been blowing my mind of late, and I have trouble sometimes remembering what I was even like before marriage, children, family and this whole post-single life happened to me.

I’ve been witnessing the second generation in my family navigate the whole courtship and marriage thing, with many nieces and nephews having gotten married the past few years or in that process now. Their approaches, their questions, the amount of vetting they and their families are doing as well as what their must-haves and non-negotiables are – it’s all been an incredibly eye-opening experience when juxtaposed with how my husband and I got together (a fairly traditional arrangement) and the things we’ve had to navigate through the past nearly 25 years.

 and get to know yourself before you spouse search.)

It’s so good that many things have changed when it comes to approaching marriage in our Islamic circles. But also, as each generation is wont to point out, some of the old-school things we’ve learned along the way are golden olden for a reason.

(Interested in pursuing a halal courtship? What does that look like? Check out 

About a year ago while she was making the rounds of media interviews after the release of her latest book, “The Light We Carry,” former first Lady Michelle Obama spoke candidly about what it takes to build a long-lasting marriage and the ups and downs that come with it. I attended an event where she was the main feature of a moderated discussion and heard first-hand her views on the commitment it takes to stay with someone for life, and why she fears it’s something younger generations will struggle with.

And so, what I learned that day is that the former first lady Michelle Obama was right when she said that all too often marriage is glamorized and that too many young people quit on marriage over things that are just “part of the commitment” because they are not ready “for the real of marriage.”

She went on to say that of their more than 30 years of marriage together, there were a solid ten when she “couldn’t stand” her husband.“

And honestly, given my ongoing marriage and the marriages I’ve borne witness to around me, that doesn’t shock me.

 several months ago, the former first lady said, “I share these things because marriage is hard [and] it’s incumbent upon us – people who have had successful marriages – to be really honest about the fact that making a commitment to be with someone means you compromise, and compromise ain’t always fun.

“And people think I’m catty by saying this, but it’s like there were 10 years when I couldn’t stand my husband. … Ten years. And guess when it happened? When those kids were little. … Because you know you can be all great individually when you’re just married. You got your life, he’s got his, you come together and it’s all [great]. … Then you have kids. The minute we had kids it was like, ‘Where are you going and how far? And you start measuring, and it’s like, ‘How many diapers did you change? And oh you’re GOLFING? Oh you have time to golf? How you at the gym all the time?’ … That’s when all the measuring starts … “

Nothing Michelle Obama is saying is new material. Talk to anyone who has been married for a long minute – there are years when you love each other, but you may not like each other very much. There are years when it feels like you’re living with a roommate rather than a spouse. 

There are years when it feels like you are two ships passing in the night. There are shifting priorities – years when he and his career, his passions take center stage; and hopefully years when you and your goals are put first, AND there are years when it’s all about the kids – all against the backdrop of creating history and raising a family together (whether kids are part of the picture or not.)

In a hang-out session with some good girlfriends awhile back, I mentioned that it took me a solid ten years – TEN YEARS – to feel like I could voice my opinion and clearly state what I did or did not want, what I would or would not do, what we could or could not manage in regards to my life as part of our married life and our married life together.

And, I don’t put the blame of this on my husband. I had my own cultural and familial baggage and lessons that were ingrained in me by my elders that I brought into our marriage. I often was my own blockage in speaking up with kindness and firmness about what I thought would be best for us and for me. I often found it easier to bend and prioritize the needs of everyone around me without doing the hard work to figure out how I could be part of the equation.

Will the Married Couples of Today Have What it Takes?

The husband and I have grown and nearly grown kids of our own now, and one of the biggest worries I have when it comes to their future life with a partner and the building of their own family is – do they understand what healthy compromise is, and do they understand that while loving one another will, Insha’Allah, always be part of their married lives (should they get married), that liking each other is just as important?

Will they understand that over the course of years together, the two individuals in a marriage will change and become different people, and it is imperative that both spouses work hard to understand how each other is changing and prioritize falling in love with each other through those iterations. Will you love every change in your spouse? Nope. But will you be able to find a way to continue on in your marriage with your partner as he/she evolves and also find ways to appreciate how he/she is evolving?

Will they realize that it’s never fifty-fifty, that one person will have to take a larger supportive role for the other, and those roles will (and should) switch over the course of a lifetime together? Will they learn to see love and respect from each in the different ways these fundamental marital ingredients manifest? Will they center kindness, fight fairly (for the most part) and nurture communication?

(Think you have found the perfect person and want to get married? Here are 

100 questions you and your potential spouse can ask each other

. Heck these are great questions to ask after marriage, too!)

Will they realize that learning to love oneself is as important as loving one’s partner? Will they honor the life they build together by working hard to see the beauty in each other and in that partnership?

There will always be reasons to separate and walk away from each other. That is the truth of this life. There are things that are unacceptable in a marriage. There are marriages where the happiness ends and it’s just better for two people not to stay together, and divorce is our Islamic right.

But, there’s also something very beautiful and unglamorous and solid about staying together, growing old together, nurturing mature love together. I hope that’s what we’ve been modeling to our kids.

I’ve been married now as long as I’ve been single. Marriage is hard. Building a family is hard. There are so many things I would do differently if my husband and I were to start over again. But also, there is a reason, a purpose to this life we’ve built together and all the mistakes, misunderstandings, challenging years, joyous times and steady, dependable love that continues to build our path together.

“If I fell out with [Barack Obama] for 10 [years,] and we had a great 20 years, I’d take those odds anytime,” said the former first lady.

As far as I’m concerned, and you may not agree with me, Michelle Obama is right.

Michelle Obama was Right – Staying Married for the Long Haul is Hard But Can Totally Be Worth It

Practicing gratitude in the face of ongoing genocide in Palestine seems incongruent at this time. None of us are feeling like celebrating anything right now, and even trying to practice gratitude feels like an exercise in privilege when our fellow sisters and brothers are suffering so much, while we live in relative comfort and safety. It seems to be a betrayal to our brethren. 

Most of us as parents cannot even articulate our pain right now, much less figure out how to help our kids come to terms with genocide in Palestine.

is not about ignoring or diminishing the severity of the situation, rather it’s about finding resilience, empathy and connection amidst the darkness. 

Every day we hear people suffering unimaginable losses who start and end their laments with “

” in expressing contentment for what Allah (S) has decreed. Addressing this with children requires careful consideration in order to balance harsh realities with the importance of cultivating empathy and gratitude.

Before introducing the concept of gratitude to children in the context of ongoing genocide in Gaza and Palestine, it is essential that they have a basic understanding of the historical and cultural aspects involved. Tailor the information to their age and maturity level, presenting it in a way that is comprehensible and respectful of their emotional capacity.

If you are Palestinian, you know your history as both witness and teacher to your children to help them understand it. If you’re not Palestinian and have a Palestinian friend or contact who can teach you about the history, DON’T ASK THEM. It is our responsibility to be informed without further adding to the grief of an affected people and its diaspora.

And, if our first line of information is TikTok or our friends, we aren’t making a true effort to be informed. There are several books that can help with our own education on Palestinian history, including for children:

 (Any of her fiction will dehydrate you through tears.)

A Palestinian woman doing tatreez; image source: National Geographic Archives, Imagining the Holy Project, National Geographic December 1926.

 hosted by Diana Buttu and produced by the 

 produced by The Telegraph (episodes try to be balanced but fall short)

 produced by Canadians for Justice and Peace in the Middle East

 hosted by Yahav Erev (a pro-Palestinian Israeli)

We’ve asked some of the people listed above to come on as guests for our upcoming Mommying While Muslim December series: All About Palestine, and all episodes will be related to what has been and is happening there. We don’t know who to follow on TikTok because we (Zaiba and myself) aren’t on there that much. But if you know some good sources of information, let us know at 

, and we will reach out to those accounts for the series as well.

 that can be helpful for kids of all ages to learn about Palestine, the resistance movement, and the current genocide that is happening in Gaza.)

Palestine, Tulkarem district in 1948.; a group of around 1,000 people, including many mothers and children, forced to flee their homes during the first Israeli invasion. (File photo: ICRC)

It’s important that we help children understand the pain and suffering experienced by others, acknowledging that it is okay to feel sadness, anger and confusion about such injustice. Share the following hadith with your kids:

Encourage open conversations, answering their questions with honesty while being mindful of their emotional well-being. If you have a child with high anxiety or sensory issues, they should not listen to or watch the images out of Palestine. In fact, most of the graphic ones should not be shown at all to young children, and only after discussion with older children.

Young children can color or write cards of support to the people of Gaza and you can set these aside for when materials can get there. Remember to send them when the time for it comes. You could also digitally share these cards of support on social media. Or they can certainly pass them out now to friends and family who are Palestinian. Activists in the street who are constantly being accused of a crime will also appreciate these innocent and sincere messages.

My 15, 14, and 12 year-olds have all looked up the genocide online and seen the videos and images, then they have come and discussed them with me. I said the same thing to them: Be careful what you see and how it makes you feel. Pain and anger must be used to fuel change, not more pain, anger or more hate. Direct those energies to protests, rallies, vigils and letters to Congress to demand a ceasefire. More below.

how to contact your congressional representatives

In discussing ongoing genocide, emphasize stories of resilience and courage within affected communities. Share examples of individuals and groups working towards positive change, rebuilding their lives, and fostering hope amidst adversity. Stories of an unlikely live recovery in the rubble, or a family reunited will be good examples to maintain hope and possibility to young children. Stories of all afflicted people praising Allah (S) or declaring that they are not the ones being tested, but that we are, can inspire and incentivize older children to be grateful and act now.

Help children understand that expressing gratitude for safety, access to education and a supportive community does not negate the suffering of others, but rather emphasizes the importance of working towards a world where everyone can enjoy these rights. For younger children, this can be done via discussion while reading the books listed above.

Right now, our younger kids don’t need any bubbles to be burst about the realities of corrupt governments or be asked why leaders aren’t protecting them. None of us has that answer. Let children believe they can be the leaders who, one day 

It‘s okay to discuss the hypocrisy of leaders with older children and encourage them to have those discussions about human rights and cognitive dissonance without diving into religion in public spaces. It really depends on your kids’ maturity and ability to handle such discussions. If your kids join Amnesty International or Model UN, these are great opportunities for them to practice both public speaking and policy making and bring up, “What about Palestine?” without (Insha’Allah) getting in trouble. 

, trying to disband these school clubs to prevent our future generation from learning diplomacy and negotiation. That’s incentive enough to fight for and join them!

Going to vigils, marches, lectures and watching documentaries about Palestine will demonstrate the violations of human rights to older children better than we can, allowing them to exercise their brains and their civil rights.

We can’t say this enough. Model gratitude in the small wins: the light turned green before hitting the brakes, the weather warmed up, dinner was tasty, your kid got a “B” on the assignment. Say Alhamdulillah, carry your 

, or do it on your fingers as the sunnah until it’s a habit, and don’t stop in front of the kids. Normalize it in public. I’m on the soccer pitch with my kids, and the other parents appreciate it, especially when we are down a goal. This demonstrates that gratitude is not about ignoring difficulties, but finding comfort in 

Explore diverse cultures and histories via age-appropriate books, documentaries, discussions, or with experiences that highlight both the beauty and challenges faced by people around the world. Understanding different perspectives fosters empathy and a deeper appreciation for the interconnectedness of humanity.

 (and beyond), teach your kids that gratitude is every day, and especially to the people upon whose land we live. They’ll understand occupation and land grabbing at all ages. Talk about the un-whitewashed history of the upcoming holiday, the feelings of Indigenous people, and discuss reparations and justice. Acknowledge the harsh realities of genocide while fostering empathy, resilience and a sense of responsibility to all oppressed people, and especially to Palestine as our collective Muslim history and cause.

Children can learn to appreciate the importance of standing in solidarity with those who suffer while actively working towards a more just and compassionate world a lot easier than adults can. Trust them.

Teaching Our Children to Embody Gratitude as Resistance in a Time of Strife, War & Genocide

) holds profound significance in Islam, extending far beyond a fleeting sentiment. It forms the foundation of faith and serves as a transformative practice anchoring us, especially during challenging times. When faced with crises and the intricate dance between privilege and despair, the power of gratitude emerges as a beacon of spiritual mindfulness and emotional resilience.

How, then, do we, as Muslims blessed with faith and countless unseen blessings, harness this power to navigate the storms of life? When others around us are suffering unimaginable things, how can gratitude help us ground ourselves and serve others who need us?

Within the Holy Quran, the virtues of gratitude are extolled, and the 

of the Prophet Muhammad (saw) abounds with lessons on the profound impact of a grateful heart. In my household, gratitude is interwoven into the fabric of our daily existence. It is an ongoing practice, not without imperfections, but one that we relentlessly pursue.

At the end of a challenging day, we ask ourselves: What valuable lessons lie within this experience that we can be grateful for? When a problematic conversation rattles us, we turn inward and reflect: How can we appreciate our own growth and evolution beyond this moment? When we are rendered incapacitated by grief at what is happening around us, how can the depth of our feelings and pain fuel us to change what is within our capacity to change?

Our personal journey underscores that gratitude is not merely a reactive emotion but a proactive strategy – a mental muscle that, when exercised, has the power to reshape the landscape of our brain chemistry for the better. As Muslims, we are fortunate that the concept of gratitude is not foreign to us; instead, it is deeply ingrained in the very essence of our faith. It’s not just about being thankful for what Allah (S) has given us or protected us from. It’s the doorway to so much more.

Gratitude is a profound virtue emphasized in Islamic teachings. Let's explore five strategies to cultivate this sense of gratitude.

As part of our daily remembrance (dhikr), we maintain a gratitude journal to document Allah's (S) blessings. Each entry serves as a testament to the countless favors bestowed upon us, from the air we breathe to the comfort of our homes and the warmth of our families. 

This practice of journaling not only nurtures a deeper appreciation for life's blessings and fosters a positive mindset. Writing in a gratitude journal helps us to focus on the abundance in our lives, cultivating a sense of contentment and resilience against life's challenges. It's a simple yet powerful tool for enhancing our spiritual and emotional well-being.

2. Expressing gratitude to others (shukr to Creation):

 Our Prophet Muhammad (saw) taught us that expressing gratitude towards people is an expression of gratitude towards Allah (S). Therefore, we make it a point to say 

to show appreciation to others. This practice upholds the sunnah and strengthens the bonds within our community.

True patience (sabr) entails having gratitude. It is a powerful reminder that even life's tests are enveloped in divine wisdom. We strive to emulate the patience and gratitude of the prophets, understanding that every hardship carries hidden blessings within. And we accept that when terrible things happen, things that make no sense to us, there is a divine mercy and wisdom beyond our understanding in this earthly life. Being grateful for that knowledge is truly something beautiful.

By engaging in mindful contemplation (tafakkur), we immerse ourselves in the present moment, recognizing the miracles surrounding us. Each miracle serves as a sign (

) of Allah's (S) benevolence, fueling our gratitude.

Acts of charity (sadaqah) are tangible expressions of thankfulness and opportunities to share our blessings with others. We firmly believe that every act of kindness, regardless of its size, has the potential to create positive ripples within our community, thereby amplifying the spirit of gratitude. Especially in times of hardship and grief, when we feel powerless to change what is happening around us, we can express our appreciation by giving back to the communities in need in many ways.

Incorporating gratitude into our daily lives is a powerful strategy that helps us nurture a profound sense of appreciation within ourselves. By embracing gratitude, we draw closer to our Creator and build a more compassionate world.

Gratitude can shift our perspectives, uplift our spirits, and create positive change in our community. It serves as a reminder that despite hardships, there are always glimmers of hope and countless reasons to be thankful and ways we can take that gratitude and harness it to enjoin good and forbid evil.

We strengthen our inner peace and contribute to the world's healing when we anchor ourselves with gratitude. Our gratitude becomes a quiet revolution against despair, a guiding light that leads us back to the grace of Allah (S), and a message that every moment, whether good or bad, holds an opportunity for us to grow closer to the Divine.

In the spirit of our Islamic teachings, let us all find solace in gratitude, allowing it to illuminate our paths and transform our trials into triumphs of faith. May we find strength in gratitude, using it as a vessel to navigate life's crises with resilience, compassion, and deep-seeded hope.