Editor's note: This post is part of a Haute Hijab Academy series we're doing this month to help us all get ready for school, work, home stuff and whatever we have coming up as the summer winds down!
You’ve decided to wear hijab! Mabrook! Mubarak! Congratulations! May Allah (S) make it easy for you and a source of happiness, peace, contentment and great blessings. For some, it’s not a decision that comes easily or lightly, while for others it’s a natural progression in faith. Everyone who wears the hijab has a different journey that brought them to it and varying reasons that draw them to it.
For those of us on the Haute Hijab team who wear hijab, our stories of how we came to it and explored our intentions around it are probably as varied as all of yours. But we’ve learned an important thing collectively in more than a decade of experience in serving hijab-wearing Muslim women and Muslim women in general – not just through our commitment to selling quality hijabs and hijab accessories to help Muslim women feel comfortable, beautiful and proud in their hijab but also through our
media work on our blog and our
ongoing community programs– One of the key things to help you feel grounded in your hijab journey is confidence.
As our blog editor Dilshad wrote in an article for our
New Hijabi Starter Kit magazine, “I was blessed to be confident in who I was before I wore my hijab. But, developing that confidence in my outwardly appearance to match my inwardly feelings over time became one of the key factors in helping me feel comfortable in this decision and go the distance with it.”
So, let’s talk about confidence and conviction - how to cultivate it, maintain it and encourage it to flourish.
Having confidence in wearing the hijab stems from a number of things, three of which are key:
1. A solid foundational knowledge and reasoning behind the
why of why you are wearing hijab –
what are your intentions? Are you wearing it for the sake of Allah (S)? Do you feel good about your decision for yourself?
2. A group of family, friends or community members (or any combination of the three) who can offer unconditional support to you in this decision.
3. A good foundational set of hijabs, underscarves, accessories, style tips and whatever else you need to wear hijab in a modest manner that suits you and makes you feel good about your appearance.
The first one can be a work in progress. Some women thoroughly research what the Quran (and hadith) have to say in regards to hijab and modest dressing. (We’ve done the research for you
here.) Some feel compelled to wear it and do their research (or not) later.
As Melanie writes in
this article about hijab being fard, or mandatory, “Muslim women wear hijab because the Quran unambiguously orders us to, and there is no qualifying text or hadith or even any lexical possibility to show that the Quranic order might mean anything besides obligation. The ahadith all confirm this obligation and the vast majority of Muslim scholars are in unanimous agreement about it and have been from the time of the Prophet (S) down to today.”
One thing to know is that the decision to wear hijab is not a requisite to other acts of worship. You don’t need to first perfect prayer or fasting, for example, before wearing hijab.
You don’t need to be the “perfect Muslim.” These things don’t build in succession – they ebb and flow as we work on them throughout our lives.
The second one can also be hit or miss, as plenty of us have had that experience of deciding to wear the hijab without the help of support around us. Some of us face downright opposition or animosity (let alone questioning) when we take this monumental step. Please know that if you are struggling to find support,
we are here for you.
When it comes to that lack of support from surrounding family and/or friends, we’ve found Anse Tamara Gray and Rabata’s “Lean In – Our Feminist Manifesto” to be helpful in boosting confidence and conviction. She writes:
“There are pat-explanations that people like to throw around about
‘why’ women wear hijab in Islam. They are mostly irritating stories about diamonds and pearls and oranges – equating women to objects of decoration or pieces of fruit. But if we peel back the human interpretation we find that Allah (S) Himself has laid plain the reasoning for hijab. That we may be known.
"Like a sports team – We recognize each other.
"Like an ethnic background – we feel comfortable with each other.
"Like a flag held high in the field of battle – we bravely go out each day – in every country of the world – and represent our Prophet ﷺ – our religion. We represent our men, who too often blend into the background, and we represent our hurting women who need our activism. We represent any woman of faith unsure how to outwardly express her conviction. We wear the scarf that we may be known.”
Understand that your decision to wear hijab makes you known, and that’s a good, brave, wonderful thing that will strengthen your conviction in your decision and elevate your confidence.
The third thing – that is something we can help you with. Do not underestimate the power and comfort of having a foundational set of hijabs and its
surrounding accessories (as well as a wardrobe to support modest dressing – we’ve done so many articles on this. Check out
this one,
this one and
this one).
“I was 29 when I made the impromptu decision to wear a hijab – it wasn’t something I contemplated or had thought about in any sort of capacity beforehand,” says Dilshad. “I had gone for my Hajj with my husband, wore hijab while I was there (naturally) and decided never (proverbially) to take it off when I returned. So, you can imagine that my hijab and clothing wardrobe was in no way prepared for my decision.”
That was a different time, a different era, even for hijab wearers. Hijabs and its accompanying accessories (and chic ones at that) were not readily available on- or off-line. Forget style mavens, hijab tutorials, influencers or even YouTube, says Dilshad.
Thankfully for you, this won’t be a problem. We have made it our mission to produce and supply you with the best quality
hijabs,
foundational pieces,
accessories and
tutorials to help figure out hijab, how you want to wear it and to help you grow in confidence.
Once that confidence is rooted strongly within you,
Insha’Allah wearing your hijab will become a tried and true part of you. And, we are always here for you –
feel free to reach out to us. Sisters always support sisters!