The first wave of social media posts flooding my timeline last March showed flustered parents/caregivers slammed by massive school closings due to the COVID-19 pandemic. In addition to fears about their children’s health and well-being, millions of parents/caregivers suddenly found much of their children’s academic welfare heaped on their unprepared shoulders.

By the middle of a summer break filled with face masks and limited on social activity, parents/caregivers shared their concerns with each other and loudly on social media about potential school reopenings and children’s safety as the virus continued to grip the nation and anxieties from the prospect of a full academic year of distant learning grew. My heart went out to them. As a homeschooler for more than 20 years, I can relate to how daunting home education can be.

Maybe your school district is starting virtual learning in the fall. Maybe it’s doing a hybrid model, or even headed back full time. While virtual learning through your school district is also challenging (see here for tips on how to make it work), homeschooling is another great option for this school year. It allows you and your children to be in control of their education and schedule. So how does it all work?

Let’s get into it.

According to the Homeschool Legal Defense Association, homeschooling, at its essence, involves parent-directed education customized to meet the needs of the child and family.

Many homeschoolers would argue that the millions of parents/caregivers across the country forced to monitor their children’s education are not homeschooling because the ultimate responsibility as to what each child learns does not fall on them but the school districts.

For example, many school districts require that homeschoolers submit an education plan for reviews. Every year, I provide an Individualized Home Instruction Plan (IHIP) for each child I homeschool to the respective schools requiring them. I inform the district of what I will teach each school year and hold the authority to my children’s education, even if I decide to delegate it to another individual or institution.

Homeschooling is an umbrella of learning approaches. Some homeschoolers design structured curriculums for the school year while others may decide to purchase from a spectrum of programs or use a private or state-provided online school as an alternative choice to brick-and-mortar school .Not all states provide online educational options that homeschooling families can choose to avail. Of course right now during this pandemic situation, virtual learning via school districts is found in nearly every state. Parents/caregivers may also opt for the less structured, child-led, unschooling method. They decide the direction of their kids’ learning.

Home-based education also requires a substantial financial commitment. School districts rarely provide anything to homeschoolers, so parents/caregivers dig into their pockets. Textbooks are not cheap, and learning materials hit homeschoolers’ wallets hard.

Whatever way home educators decide to engage in learning and budget to teach, local school districts serve as resources (at varying levels) and not the sources for their children’s education. Unless they decide to remove their children from public education altogether and take complete control of homeschooling their children, parents/caregivers can take solace in the fact that while they may monitor their child’s virtual school-provided education, area administration and faculty should provide the structure and materials for their kid’s learning.

Even with the backing of public education, making sure a kid pent up in the house accomplishes learning goals set by teachers can prove difficult.

What I noticed in social media posts and discussions with friends who have children in public school is the anxiety gripping them. For people with institutional education mindsets, the notion of their homes as formal learning environments may seem an impossibility; but teaching at home is doable. And doing it via homeschooling instead of availing virtual learning through your school district puts some control in your hands in regards to time spent learning, however you still have to teach what schools want you according to their schedule.

Take a few deep breaths and adjust your thinking. Good parents/caregivers are a child’s first teachers. Imagine the mess of human beings they would be without your guidance. Extend your knowledge and skill sharing capabilities to your child’s education.

You are not alone in this. An entire education system has your back. Do not be shy about hitting up teachers and administrators with questions. Try to get information about the learning platforms your child’s school will use as soon as possible and check out teacher’s pages the moment they are live. Whether your child is engaging in virtual learning or you are homeschooling, you will need to know how to check on academic progress and maintain communication with teachers. Your child(ren) may also need assistance in navigating the environment and help with any program glitches that will most likely arise. The more you know, the better equipped you become to teach your child effectively.

A full school day will probably be a rarity while teaching at home, depending on the number of kids. The learning setting at home will mostly involve one-to-one attention from parents/caregivers, allowing them to complete tasks more quickly. Don’t force hours of unnecessary instruction.

If a student finishes early, afford them time for independent study. Let them delve deeper into a subject or topic that interests them. Encourage them to hone challenging skills, experiment or build. Learning doesn’t happen in a confined time and space. Appreciate opportunities for knowledge growth outside the prescribed curriculum and foster the learning surrounding them.

My son always had a strong work ethic with his academics and would burn through his work every day. Lessons never took more than a couple of hours with him. Even after I advanced him one grade, it wasn’t long until he came to me with everything done. I had to make sure that my brilliant, energetic child had enough to occupy his time and highlight his talents. He loved building and engineering, so I let him spend his free time creating model buildings, vehicles and circuitry. If I bought something new that needed assembling, I handed him the tools and instructions.

One harsh reality I had to come to terms with during years of homeschooling is that my home would never be a pristine abode. Yeah, some homeschoolers can teach and keep a tidy home. I’m not one of them, and no one else has to be.

Stuff is what children have – lots and lots of stuff that require parents/caregivers to fight a tide of clutter. It only gets worse when kids learn at home. Remember those books and supplies I mentioned earlier? You may not have to pay for them depending on what your district offers up, but you will have to find spaces in your home to accommodate them.

Clutter can be a monster affecting a home’s serenity and a child’s learning environment. Managing clutter is key to a productive home education environment. If your school district announced that the school year would involve distance learning (or you decided to keep your kids home and homeschool them yourself), take a room-by-room home assessment.

Adjust to the presence of all the new stuff, organize for school and home life, and accept that sometimes the pile of clean laundry will have to stay in the corner for the night. It is not hurting anybody.

Usually, home education responsibilities fall on the shoulders of one parent/caregiver. The additional time and attention often mean a shift from other things in their professional lives and around the house. You can’t do it all. Accept it and avoid falling apart (which I did my first year of homeschooling) by assigning tasks to the rest of the family.

Don’t feel too guilty if you have a partner who works outside of the home. You have a heap of stuff to get through by the day’s end. So, everyone else in the house will have to take up the slack when it comes to chores, or you will need to figure out ways to simplify the home chores. Fewer responsibilities weighing you down will let you teach better.

Additional hours of teaching means you will spend a lot of time with your kid(s), and not in a pleasant way. Just like they give teachers in school pushback, students will throw grief at parents/caregivers during learning time. They have all kinds of tactics in their arsenal to drive you nuts. Take the time at the end of the day to decompress from all of their nonsense.

By the end of the day, you and your student(s) will need relief from schooling pressures. Expectations of performance and tensions from meeting goals can take their toll and produce resentment. When students finish, find ways to vent off the stress.

You may need to get away from each other for a while. I tend to be a taskmaster during homeschooling hours, so my kids head for the hills when I dismiss them. I take advantage of their temporary aversion to me to do something outside of teaching and motherhood.

Manage the inevitable stress that comes with teaching. Acquire stress-relieving strategies that will help bring you down from the precipice of despair and shift your attention back to your personal, social and professional lives.

The shift to home-based education happened quickly for many parents/caregivers and students, making it essential to sift through the emotions generated by the new dynamics of learning and family. Listen to each other and commit to making things work. This can be done. You can do it, and you may be surprised about how much external tension is released by not having to conform to school rules and timings.