Growing up, I was not raised in a household that celebrated Mother’s Day in the way that it is encouraged in North American society. On the contrary, my father discouraged holidays such as Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and encouraged us to shower our parents with love all throughout the year and make it spontaneous.

But after marriage and seeing how my husband loved celebrating the day with his mom and aunts, I learned to appreciate the holiday for what it is: A special day designated to pamper your mama and/or any mom figure in your life. Of course we can do this throughout the year, but having a set date to look forward to is also a fun way to honor our mothers, if you’re into that sort of thing.

As a mother myself, although I do not put much emphasis on the holiday, I can definitely appreciate the sentiment and enjoy getting pampered. I mean, who doesn’t? And while our spouses may try to do something special for their mom or their children’s mom, sometimes they need guidance! So to all of the spouses out there, if you are not sure what to do for your own mother and the mother of your children this mother’s day, I’m here to help you out.

Throughout the year, moms are often the ones in charge of most of the family’s events and social planning, whether that’s afterschool activities, coordinating playdates, birthday parties, dinner gatherings, family vacations and so on. It would be lovely for you, dear husband, to take control of logistics and plan out the ENTIRE day!

Figure out what the kids will be doing, any babysitting accommodations that may be needed and make the necessary reservations for eating out or activities. Don’t just make a reservation and expect your wife to shore up babysitting duties or clean the kitchen after you and the kiddos make a nice meal. Basically hold down the fort!

At the heart of this is thinking about what she would like that she normally doesn’t get to do. Perhaps she is with her kids all the time, and she would like a mother’s day activity with the kids. Perhaps she wants a break and some space. Whatever it is, just make the arrangements and take care of the details that normally you wouldn’t have to think about because she would be doing that.

Don’t get me wrong, we love our kids! Kids are a blessing that we never take (or shouldn’t take) for granted. But, we are also human and need a break from time to time. Dad, this is for you! This mother’s day, take the children and leave mama alone. Leave her alone for the morning, for the afternoon, for the whole day – whatever she wants.

Sometimes a mama just wants to enjoy her house with nobody else in it. Plan some activities for you and the children to do outside of the home so mom can enjoy some peace and quiet.

Yes, all of the chores. We know you help out, and we see you and appreciate you. But for this Mother’s Day, make it a mission to take on ALL of the chores from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed. I’m talking everything! Mom is hands off for the day.

Oftentimes we don’t think about all the little details a mom manages throughout the day, and if you can think about that and take care of those things, it will make a mom feel that much more appreciated. Plus, a lot of these things don’t cost money (or that much money), and the care and thought you put into what you do for your mom or your kids’ mom (or take off their plate) is priceless.