As you know, we at Haute Hijab have been thinking a lot about the importance of renewing our intentions. My fellow HH writers and I have been exploring the #LikeYouMeanItHH campaign over at The Haute Take (and on social) as well as reflecting on our own relationship with hijab and our renewed intentions towards it.

However, “like you mean it” doesn't just refer to our intentions towards hijab. It is an ideology that can encompass so many areas of our lives and the relationships we have, such as your relationship with your parents, siblings, friends and, of course, your spouse. I think we can all agree that marriage is a continuous work in progress, and it takes both partners to put in the effort for the relationship to thrive and flourish.

But what happens when we’ve been with our partner for several years (Masha’Allah)? Burnout and underappreciation is real and can have a detrimental toll on your marriage if it is not addressed head on.

Our partner is someone we grow and change with. How do we place a premium on being open and vulnerable with those who are closest to us to keep the trust between ourselves and our partners and bring us closer in our relationship? What are some ways in which we can renew our intentions in our married life?

The first step towards renewing intentions in one’s marriage is to first look inwards and have a conversation with yourself.

1. Write down your goals that you wish to achieve in your marriage in the coming year.

2. Jot down the things you’d like to work on with yourself and those things you’d like your spouse to work on in order to strengthen your relationship with each other. Ask your spouse to do the same.

3. Write down the things you currently enjoy about your marriage and things that you don’t enjoy and would like to improve on together. Again, ask your spouse to do the same.

4. Then schedule a time, a coffee date perhaps, and have a conversation together.

If there’s anything I learned on my marriage journey over the past eight years, it’s that communication is key. It is very hard, especially if your personality is to keep things bottled up inside and brush off your emotions. But take it from someone who is an introvert herself – you owe it to yourself, your spouse and your family to be open, be vulnerable and communicate with those who are the closest to you.

I learned quickly that the first year of marriage is hard. What I also learned over the years is that both spouses must constantly reexamine and renew their intentions to make the marriage work. What that looks like depends on the season of life you are going through in your marriage. The hurdles my husband and I learned to overcome during our early years of our marriage look very different than those when we had kids, and more recently when we lost my dear mother-in-law.

Every phase of life comes with its own sets of challenges that you and your partner will learn to grow from if you work together. This is most definitely easier said than done and requires lots of patience, communication and effort from both sides.

Seeking help and guidance when you are feeling that your marriage is stuck in a rut or that you’ve lost that spark is an excellent way to be proactive in trying to nurture your relationship with your spouse. Whether that’s professional help or from a trusted friend/family member, recognizing the need for this is crucial and actively seeking that help is vital to keeping a healthy relationship that can go sour very quickly.

This post by relationship experts Rufus and Jenny Triplett is a great place to start if you’re interested in exploring ways to revive the romance in your relationship.

I also strongly believe in centering our faith in every matter of our lives if we want to yield positive results. I try to do this with every aspect from implementing a morning routine centered around morning dhikr, making sure I say my du’a while entering and exiting the house, getting into my car, going into the bathroom; performing my salahs on time – especially fajr prayer, which is always a work in progress.

There’s no doubt that making Allah (S) and your deen the center of your marriage will make for a union filled with barakah (blessings). But what does that really mean? For me, it means helping my husband wake up for fajr and praying together. It means reminding each other of prayer times and making an effort to pray them together as well. It means active discussions on how we want to teach our deen to our children.

Doing this not only strengthens your relationship with your Creator but with your spouse as well, and you begin to build a beautiful bond for the sake of Allah (S). Here are some other faith centered ideas you and your spouse can work on together:

1. Listen to each other and read your daily Quran wird.

2. Memorize a new surah together and dive into its meaning.

3. Choose a new lecture series or podcast, listen to it together and reflect on what you’ve learned.

4. Volunteer at your local masjid together.

5. Share in the deen education of your children.

I hope this post has inspired you to renew your marriage intentions for the upcoming new year. May Allah (S) place barakah in your marriage and your families. May He fill your homes with love, laughter and happiness. May He accept your efforts and answer your du’a. Ameen.